Bomhunlad Bimkamwap is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unsympathetic dryad.

Bomhunlad Bimkamwap created light six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bomhunlad Bimkamwap, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bomhunlad Bimkamwap, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bomhunlad Bimkamwap's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Bomhunlad Bimkamwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Never wear tights.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.