Jarnmabraw is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, tiresome snake.

Jarnmabraw created matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnmabraw, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Jarnmabraw, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Jarnmabraw's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Jarnmabraw's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Jarnmabraw eight times a day.

2. Never wear yellow shorts.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

5. Always pray immersed in water.