Bumpigflap is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unthinking jellyfish.

Bumpigflap created the planet Earth five million years ago.

If you believe in Bumpigflap, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bumpigflap, he will send minions to preach to you.

Bumpigflap's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bumpigflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt capybaras.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

5. Never play with disobedient children.