Govhaddid is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, weak tortoise.

Govhaddid created an up quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govhaddid, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Govhaddid, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Govhaddid's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Govhaddid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear black clothing.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not commit murder.