Pasyoknut is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, smart penguin.

Pasyoknut created oxygen four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pasyoknut, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pasyoknut, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Pasyoknut's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Pasyoknut's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not hurt ants.

4. Do not dye your hair cyan.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.