Hotkabnat is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, awe-inspiring chinchilla.

Hotkabnat created the Virgo Supercluster eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hotkabnat, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hotkabnat, he will boil you in a big pot.

Hotkabnat's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Hotkabnat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hotkabnat.

3. Always look after injured doves.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always wear magenta.