Kantikzagkam is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, slow giraffe.

Kantikzagkam created the Sun two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kantikzagkam, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kantikzagkam, he will refuse to believe in you.

Kantikzagkam's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Kantikzagkam's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Run away if three aardvarks approach from the south.

4. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

5. Do not speak about melons.