Yambantimzan is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, pitiless unicorn.

Yambantimzan created the Milkyway four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yambantimzan, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yambantimzan, she will have a low opinion of you.

Yambantimzan's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Yambantimzan's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yambantimzan.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always make sure there are no birds in a room before entering it.

5. Never eat bark.