Witpom is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, able naga.

Witpom created life nine million years ago.

If you believe in Witpom, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Witpom, he will turn you into a mole.

Witpom's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Witpom's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve turtles for they are unholy.

2. Witpom loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Put Witpom first in all things.