Benmigfossnil is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, pitiless gorilla.

Benmigfossnil created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Benmigfossnil, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Benmigfossnil, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Benmigfossnil's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Benmigfossnil's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not take Benmigfossnil's name in vain.

3. Retreat if six eagles approach from the south.

4. Never talk about horses.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.