Besthogbat is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, deceitful dragon.

Besthogbat created snails eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Besthogbat, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Besthogbat, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Besthogbat's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Besthogbat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about bread.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Besthogbat loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

5. Always pray immersed in water.