Rilbessnarl is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, benevolent cow.

Rilbessnarl created the Sol system three million years ago.

If you believe in Rilbessnarl, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rilbessnarl, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Rilbessnarl's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Rilbessnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about sharks.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Feed all hungry great tits.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Respect your elders.