Wabstantam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, caring cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Wabstantam created the Tadpole Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Wabstantam, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wabstantam, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Wabstantam's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Wabstantam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Always wear turquoise.