Volvonkgembod Limlanren is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, loving rhinoceros.

Volvonkgembod Limlanren created the solar system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Volvonkgembod Limlanren, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Volvonkgembod Limlanren, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Volvonkgembod Limlanren's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Volvonkgembod Limlanren's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

2. Always help dogs.

3. Always wear green.

4. Do not eat rice.

5. Respect your elders.