Teenfutsid is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, conceited yak.

Teenfutsid created dark energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Teenfutsid, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Teenfutsid, she will have a low opinion of you.

Teenfutsid's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Teenfutsid's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

2. Never hurt eagles.

3. Do not dye your hair blue.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.