Gessmegkik is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, pitiless yak.

Gessmegkik created an up quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gessmegkik, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gessmegkik, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gessmegkik's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Gessmegkik's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five dogs approach from the south.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never talk about ants.