Cutlarpmil is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, staggering crocodile.

Cutlarpmil created a down quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cutlarpmil, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Cutlarpmil, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Cutlarpmil's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Cutlarpmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Cutlarpmil on top of all buildings.

4. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

5. Do not drink alcohol.