Yamfligcun is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, impressive salamander.

Yamfligcun created bats seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yamfligcun, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yamfligcun, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yamfligcun's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Yamfligcun's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from brown birds, for they are unholy.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Yamfligcun loves monkeys, so they must be respected.