Abyatsis is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, moody fairy.

Abyatsis created a Higgs boson three million years ago.

If you believe in Abyatsis, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Abyatsis, he will turn you into a worm.

Abyatsis' most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Abyatsis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Hide from magenta tapirs for they are unholy.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Do not make images of living things.