Ventipvid is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, impressive parrot.

Ventipvid created humanity twelve years ago.

If you believe in Ventipvid, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ventipvid, it will destroy your home planet.

Ventipvid's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Ventipvid's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always wear violet.

5. You must never eat cucumbers.