Sawbudraw is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, temperamental snail.

Sawbudraw created energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawbudraw, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sawbudraw, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Sawbudraw's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Sawbudraw's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never hurt mites.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never talk about fire.