Cissbitjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, moody lizard.

Cissbitjarn created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cissbitjarn, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cissbitjarn, he will make you grow a tail.

Cissbitjarn's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Cissbitjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed apples to bats while wearing purple jumpers.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always obey Cissbitjarn's priests.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not shave your hands.