Bifhakstik is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humorless goblin.

Bifhakstik created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifhakstik, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bifhakstik, he will think nothing of it.

Bifhakstik's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Bifhakstik's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never jump in the presence of seals.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Run away from indigo sharks, for they are unholy.