Betlarnzod Queegdotrig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ill-tempered mole.

Betlarnzod Queegdotrig created a bottom quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Betlarnzod Queegdotrig, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Betlarnzod Queegdotrig, he will turn you into a goat.

Betlarnzod Queegdotrig's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Betlarnzod Queegdotrig's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never go into fawn rooms.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.