Fitmanyarp Zimdanpark is a god.

It takes the form of a small, self-assured pig.

Fitmanyarp Zimdanpark created viruses six million years ago.

If you believe in Fitmanyarp Zimdanpark, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fitmanyarp Zimdanpark, it will think nothing of it.

Fitmanyarp Zimdanpark's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Fitmanyarp Zimdanpark's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Put Fitmanyarp Zimdanpark first in all things.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.