Hankamqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, flying weasel.

Hankamqueeg created the world five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hankamqueeg, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hankamqueeg, he will turn you into a goat.

Hankamqueeg's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Hankamqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not listen to music.