Vadbopfub Talsaghin is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unselfish troll.

Vadbopfub Talsaghin created the Andromeda Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Vadbopfub Talsaghin, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vadbopfub Talsaghin, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Vadbopfub Talsaghin's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Vadbopfub Talsaghin's Holy Commandments

1. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vadbopfub Talsaghin.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.