Dussasgep Fotkapquat is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, resourceful pigeon.

Dussasgep Fotkapquat created Asia two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dussasgep Fotkapquat, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dussasgep Fotkapquat, it will turn you into a snail.

Dussasgep Fotkapquat's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Dussasgep Fotkapquat's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Worship no other gods but Dussasgep Fotkapquat.

5. Pray towards the east.