Hitnellxen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, prudent salamander.

Hitnellxen created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hitnellxen, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hitnellxen, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hitnellxen's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Hitnellxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Always obey Hitnellxen's priests.

3. Do not take Hitnellxen's name in vain.

4. Never talk about tapirs.

5. Erect a large silver sculpture of Hitnellxen on top of all buildings.