Gutfligged is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, unjust dugong.

Gutfligged created everything that exists five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutfligged, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gutfligged, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gutfligged's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Gutfligged's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of whales.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Feed all hungry tapirs.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Respect your elders.