Padfutjam is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, awesome naga.

Padfutjam created the world twelve years ago.

If you believe in Padfutjam, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Padfutjam, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Padfutjam's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Padfutjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Do not run in public.