Mobbamwat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, vain jaguar.

Mobbamwat created energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mobbamwat, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Mobbamwat, it will throw large rocks at you.

Mobbamwat's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Mobbamwat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Mobbamwat's name in vain.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Never eat garlic.

4. Never feed onions to aardvarks while wearing yellow rings.

5. Do not drink alcohol.