Gumdidpigfabhitwaplat is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, clever mole.

Gumdidpigfabhitwaplat created dark matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gumdidpigfabhitwaplat, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gumdidpigfabhitwaplat, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gumdidpigfabhitwaplat's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Gumdidpigfabhitwaplat's Holy Commandments

1. Put Gumdidpigfabhitwaplat first in all things.

2. Never mention geese.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not kill sheep.