Hakpiblarg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, grumpy monkey.

Hakpiblarg created the Virgo Supercluster two million years ago.

If you believe in Hakpiblarg, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hakpiblarg, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Hakpiblarg's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Hakpiblarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Hakpiblarg loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

4. Never hurt mice.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hakpiblarg.