Hitpitfem is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, clever squid.

Hitpitfem created viruses eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitpitfem, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hitpitfem, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Hitpitfem's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Hitpitfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Do not dye your hair white.

5. Never look at black holes.