Ratpitdagkim is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, cheerful tapir.

Ratpitdagkim created a quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ratpitdagkim, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Ratpitdagkim, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Ratpitdagkim's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Ratpitdagkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into pink rooms.

2. Never wear coats.

3. Always wear red.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.