Mat is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, grumpy gorilla.

Mat created the Sombrero Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mat, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Mat, he will turn you into a rock.

Mat's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Mat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Put Mat first in all things.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never bounce in the presence of bats.