Kadbapsas is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, tranquil octopus.

Kadbapsas created energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadbapsas, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kadbapsas, it will curse you with boils.

Kadbapsas' most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Kadbapsas' Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Kadbapsas loves swans, so they must be respected.

4. Erect six nickel sculptures of Kadbapsas on top of important buildings.

5. Put Kadbapsas first in all things.