Janjapbum is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, moody dingo.

Janjapbum created an electron four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Janjapbum, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Janjapbum, it will have a low opinion of you.

Janjapbum's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Janjapbum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Retreat if eight monkeys approach from the south.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never write about amino acids.