Safflowvon is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, self-confident chicken.

Safflowvon created viruses five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Safflowvon, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Safflowvon, he will jump up and down on your head.

Safflowvon's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Safflowvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Feed all hungry horses.

5. Do not hurt otters.