Ganhapmil is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, two-faced spider.

Ganhapmil created Mount Everest eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ganhapmil, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Ganhapmil, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Ganhapmil's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Ganhapmil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

2. Do not hurt shrews.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.