Butxuckdog Cussmilcad is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, pitiless spider.

Butxuckdog Cussmilcad created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Butxuckdog Cussmilcad, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Butxuckdog Cussmilcad, it will be very sad.

Butxuckdog Cussmilcad's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Butxuckdog Cussmilcad's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Butxuckdog Cussmilcad nine times a day.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.