Hivarmlag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, selfish giraffe.

Hivarmlag created the Sun three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivarmlag, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hivarmlag, she will not care.

Hivarmlag's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Hivarmlag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Put Hivarmlag first in all things.

3. Never wear red trousers.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.