Ponransog Abkendiss is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, clever fairy.

Ponransog Abkendiss created a bottom quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponransog Abkendiss, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Ponransog Abkendiss, it will be very unhappy.

Ponransog Abkendiss' most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Ponransog Abkendiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of great tits.

2. Never wear trousers.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.