Titjin is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, selfish unicorn.

Titjin created the Virgo Supercluster eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Titjin, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Titjin, it will not invite you to parties.

Titjin's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Titjin's Holy Commandments

1. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Titjin loves goats, so they must be honoured.

3. You must never eat apples.

4. Never eat oranges.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.