Zodtanpas is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, awesome shark.

Zodtanpas created a down quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Zodtanpas, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zodtanpas, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Zodtanpas' most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Zodtanpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear cyan clothing.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never bounce in the presence of ants.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Run away if seven pigs approach from the south.