Xemfunnar is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, kind crab.

Xemfunnar created the planet Mars five million years ago.

If you believe in Xemfunnar, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xemfunnar, he will turn you into a duck.

Xemfunnar's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Xemfunnar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.