Kiktikvad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, self-assured centipede.

Kiktikvad created dark matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kiktikvad, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kiktikvad, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Kiktikvad's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Kiktikvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about stars.

2. Never paint your chest fawn.

3. Always wear red.

4. You must never eat bread.

5. Retreat if four mites approach from the south.