Ontlamnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, duplicitous mink.

Ontlamnurt created the Tadpole Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontlamnurt, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ontlamnurt, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Ontlamnurt's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Ontlamnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Do not kill voles.

5. Always wear white.