Lanwigzanpig Pigwodsatloop is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, fussy ant.

Lanwigzanpig Pigwodsatloop created water six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanwigzanpig Pigwodsatloop, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lanwigzanpig Pigwodsatloop, it will turn you into a mouse.

Lanwigzanpig Pigwodsatloop's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Lanwigzanpig Pigwodsatloop's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

2. Hide if nine dogs approach from the north.

3. Do not take Lanwigzanpig Pigwodsatloop's name in vain.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Put Lanwigzanpig Pigwodsatloop first in all things.